A journal-style entry discussing my experiences of being 22 as I’m on the cusp of my 23rd birthday.
As I am rounding out my 22nd year, there are so many things that I have learned and so many things that I hope to learn. This past year has been one in which I have grown the most and have had so many life lessons, which I say every year, but this year is a standout. From romantic aspects in my life to friendship and family, there are so many things I value from my experiences in the past year. While some may be tumultuous, I would not trade them in for anything. As the “grandma” of my friend group (my birthday falls first), it is only right for me to share my greatest lessons learned and the best experiences I have had while being 22.
The first lesson I cannot stress enough is that I have learned to put myself and my needs first. There is no such thing as being selfish in your own life when it comes to the timing of things, which I have recently realized. I used to stretch myself so thin, trying to accommodate what everyone else wanted and putting how I felt on the back burner to make others happy. I had a friend who constantly put me down and made me feel like I was not good enough to do things independently. She wanted to be present in every aspect of my life and dictate certain decisions I made, and I would listen because I always sought approval from outside entities. That is no longer the case. After a string of incidents, I chose to drop that friend and vowed that I would no longer let someone, regardless of their position in my life, make me feel like a minuscule person.
The next big lesson I have learned this past year is that it is okay to voice my feelings and opinions. For a long time, I was involved with a toxic individual whose entire philosophy was that having feelings is the equivalent of making demands in a relationship. Whether a relationship is official or not, having feelings is valid, and you should be able to share them, which I have learned from others at the back end of my being 22. Once someone gave me the opportunity to have an open conversation about what had been bothering me because he just wanted me to be happy, I realized that having feelings and expressing them, regardless of the situation, is valid. While this may be in a romantic context, it has presented itself in multiple aspects of my life. I may always be opinionated, but being able to openly share my feelings on a matter is something that I have found value in, even if it has been more of a recent development.
This is not something new I have learned in the past year, but I have seen firsthand what it means to value your long-term friendships. I have friends who have put not only my friendship but the friendship of others on the back burner because of a relationship. Putting people she considers her best friends as a second choice and never sees them because she would rather see him. After witnessing this, I have vowed to never do that. Friends who have been there for you for years before you meet a person, and will be there for the years to come after a breakup should be valued. Making time to see the people you care about, even if it is just for a girls’ night once a month, is so important. While I understand that at this age, people become busy, we are all adults now, but maintaining and sustaining healthy friendships in my life has become a huge priority. If someone wants to see you, they will reach out to you, and vice versa, but the onus should never just be falling on one person to balance out a long-term friendship.
The idea that everyone has their own timelines in life is also something that I have come to terms with in the past year. While someone's timeline may not line up with your own, it is important not to sully the complete relationship with them because they are still someone that you have valued in your life. Also, everyone works at their own pace and handles pressures differently, which presented itself in a professional environment for me. After graduating college last year, I knew I had to find a job, but the position I chose was not the right fit for me. Rather than discounting my mental health for the sake of a paycheck, I decided to resign. While I may have felt like a failure at the time, all of my friends had jobs, and there I was unemployed; it was the best thing to do in order to put myself and my needs first.
The last thing I have come to value so much in my life is my ability to do things that I love. It’s breaking the fourth wall right now, but writing my blog is something that I love to do. I began posting more regularly from what I once was, and though many people may not read it, writing about an array of topics that interest me and being able to write about my own experiences is something that I never thought I would be able to do. While it may be just a hobby for now, I truly believe that building and maintaining my own brand and blog has introduced a level of happiness in my life.
Through my experiences of traveling to Europe last summer, I discovered that is something I also love. Prior to that, I had never even been on an airplane, but being able to experience a once-in-a-lifetime trip has created an interest in travel for me as a whole. From that trip, I not only gained an interest in travel, but I realized that it is important to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is a mantra that I use quite frequently as I have learned that in order to find new things that make you happy, you may be put in an uncomfortable situation, but that should not deter you from having new experiences.
There are so many things I have experienced in my 22nd year that I wouldn’t trade for the world. From gaining friendships and losing them to fostering relationships with people I did not even know existed a year ago, this year has introduced so many people into my life, and for that, I am forever grateful. I understand many of my experiences are not unique, but the lessons I have learned from them have taught me things that I will continue to carry with me as a 23-year-old. There are always so many life lessons to learn, and I am sure that next year, I will have a new list of experiences to draw from, but for now, I wanted to reflect on what this past year has taught me the most.
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