As someone who went away for college, I have firsthand experience leaving behind friends I have had for my entire life. And, as someone who recently graduated from said college, I now also have firsthand experience leaving behind friends who have become family in the short time I have known them. Friendship isn’t about how long you have known someone but the effort you put into sustaining it. Being long-distance friends can be hard, especially when it goes from people you are used to seeing every single day or even living with to living hours away from them, and your only point of contact is through a cell phone.
Leaving for college may have been one of the scariest experiences when it came to leaving my friends. Most of the people I was friends with through high school had been in my life since my preteens. We went from seeing one another every day at the school lunch table to only being able to plan hangouts over breaks whenever we came home. It was important to become comfortable being uncomfortable because not only do you need to put in the effort to make new friends in this new place you decided to call home, but it is also crucial to put effort into the friendships that you valued from childhood, even if you are no longer seeing them every day. Living in the 21st century, we have everything at our fingertips, and it is easy to keep in contact with one another, though we are far apart. But people get busy and don’t always reply to texts, so it’s important to really put in effort on both ends, if you want to sustain your long-term friendship.
The difference between childhood friendships and college friendships is that most of your childhood friends all live in the same place. Living in the same town makes it easier to see everyone at the same time, especially when you are home for break; you can keep your friend group together because nobody is permanently far away. When you are away at school, I would recommend not only texting and Facetiming whenever possible, but also doing things to make your friends feel special. Some of my best friends and I would send each another handwritten letters from time to time just to let the other one know how much we valued each other in our lives. There is something so special about a letter that someone takes the time to write and mail to you, rather than just a quick text because it shows that you really do care.
Letters I received from my friends while we were at school
Post-graduate life is harder when it comes to sustaining your long-distance friendships. If you went to a big university like I did, most of your friends live hundreds of miles away from you and probably from one another as well. It is hard to get together and see each other because not only is everyone now busy, but everyone is so far away. While growing apart may be possible, it doesn’t have to be inevitable. Besides texting and Facetiming my friends to catch up on what they have been up to, we also try to plan times to see one another, even if it’s just for the weekend. Over the summer, we planned a girls' trip down the shore to celebrate my best friend's birthday. Not only was it a great way to see everyone, but it was fun to do an activity and go on a girls' trip.
Photos from the girls' trip
While a full-on beach trip may not be in everyones budget, the traveling and hotel or Airbnb accommodations can get pricey, meeting in the middle is a great way to see one another as well. I am fortunate enough that most of my college friends are from the same area of the country, but that isn’t the case for many. Working out schedules and seeing one another, though a tedious task, is crucial when it comes to sustaining your long-distance friendships. Set a timeline of when you want to see your friends; I try for every few months at least. Not only will it give you something to look forward to, but making plans and discussing them with your friends make it that much more exciting.
Whether it be visiting one another, on-campus or in your hometown, or planning a girls' trip to get everyone together, it is important to keep in contact with your friends in any capacity you can. The key to maintaining a relationship with your long-distance friends is to show them that you care about them. The effort on both ends is what it takes. Your friendships, no matter the distance, are valuable, and planning time to see each other, whether it be via Facetime or in person, continues to make those friendships last a lifetime.
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